Barrett Rainey's Second Thoughts

There’s too much “busy-bodyness” in the world today. Seems to come from a lot of people having too much time on their hands and not enough use of their energy in doing something worthwhile. Some of this nonsense has flowed into my inbox lately and the time has come to deal with some of it.

In recent days, I’ve had emails from a couple of friends and their thoughts on gay marriage. Why it’s suddenly become a topic of their correspondence is beyond me. One talked of the “evils” of it and detailed supposed “harmful effects” it was having on society. The other supported a federal court’s overturning of Proposition Eight which attempted to ban same-sex marriages in California. “Damned good thing,” he wrote. “Oughta be legal for everyone.” In both instances, I was asked my opinion.

I don’t have many thoughts about gay marriage. But, when asked, I’ll speak up. I neither support nor oppose it. Marriage between two people – any two people regardless of anatomical plumbing – is between those two people. As my kids grew up and decided to marry, I was not asked who their partner(s) should be. Nor should I have been. They made selections based on whatever criteria they felt appropriate and not because I had a preference. God love ‘em. And most of them did far better at it than I did. Besides, if I love my dog too much, that’s nobody else’s business.

I do have trouble when someone says “Well, it’s O.K. for people of the same sex to live together but they shouldn’t be allowed to marry.” Should they be allowed to sleep in the same bed? Have kids? Name each other beneficiaries in insurance policies? Eat red meat? Have oatmeal for breakfast? If we decide who can live together – with our approval – where do we draw the line of what they can’t do together? With our disapproval.

Attempts to drag dogs and horses and goats into the conversation by some of the aforementioned busybodies tell me those folks are scared of what’s different more than anything else. As long as whatever cohabitating people do doesn’t affect whatever I do, doesn’t force me to change my lifestyle or interrupt my life, I’m O.K. with nearly anyone else’s marital choices.

Another busyness interruption of late is chatter of why we’re not having a New York City parade for our returning military folks. Some people on the right and left are in a sweat because we’re not throwing tickertape. (With due respect to CNN, MSNBC and Faux News, that word “tickertape” is not hyphenated by the way.) Apparently the Pentagon brass – for reasons unknown at my low paygrade – want to wait until ALL troops are home. Something about terrorism and fairness. New York’s Mayor has acceded to the brassy wishes. Works for me. We’ll get to it.

But the clamor continues. To the clamorers, I’m a Korean vet. No returning parades for many of us because we “lost” a “police action.” “Just come home and be quiet” was much the sentiment. Well, Virginia, we didn’t lose anything. There was a military decision to pack up and leave. And it was a WAR in which thousands of Americans died; not a “police action.” It wasn’t barricades and yellow crime scene tape. It was killing and dying and wondering what the Hell was so important about capturing that next barren hill on which our friends had died taking it twice before.

Viet Nam vets had much the same experience. They hadn’t beaten some other military into bloody submission so they “left the field of battle with their work undone.” The Hell they did! Same damned political decision and same damned message when they came home. Oh, they got a few parades. But it left me feeling somebody felt we HAD to rather than a nation that WANTED to.

You go find a vet. Shake his/her hand and tell them you’re proud of his/her service. For most, that’s all the recognition they want. They served for the service. Not some march down some Main Street when it was over. Nice but not necessary.

I’m getting emails stewing about the price of gas and the “Socialist Obama hirelings” behind it. From ignorant busybodies. Many of the same ones who tell me “If Newt can bring back $2.50 gas, that’s proof Obama’s just keeping the price artificially high for his gas and oil buddies.”

That’s proof of nothing! Except that Gingrich – a disgraceful and disgraced, lying, quasi-intellectual who knows better – was appealing to the unknowing and the Obama haters to back his dishonest political fortunes. Another busybody with his own coffers in mind and not the concerns of his country.

Busy-bodiness abounds in our society. People in politics, media, the grocery store or the coffee shop with time on their hands, concerning themselves with affairs of others of us who have better to do. Telling us what to think or feel about this or that subject. Passing on speculation and faulty information without using some of their spare time to check the facts.

A lot of it comes from the crackpots hollering they want government out of their lives when it comes to decision-making or telling them what to do. Yep, the same ones who are doing the same to us and our lives.

Ironic isn’t it?

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